A synastry is a method used in astrology to study the relationship between two people through the comparison of their natal charts. The aspect between the different planets (conjunction, sextile, trine, quadrature, quincunx and opposition) are analysed as well as the respective position of a person's planets in the houses of the other person's birth chart with the purpose to understand how the two people's energy fields will interact.

The synastry is certainly the best system of investigation to understand the degree of affinity of the couple and its final project, but also an incredible instrument of inner knowledge to understand personal dynamics that can become manifest thanks to the energetic exchange that is generated between two people. 

Modern astrology (especially psychological and evolutionary ones) gives a great importance to the encounters of our life, because through our relationship with others we can reach an ever deeper knowledge of ourselves. We are part of a bigger picture and, everything is included in a broader discussion of the evolution of human consciousness. Some encounters will show us the way to accomplish this path of knowledge that will allow us to advance on the evolutionary path, strengthening our qualities and modifying what needs to be changed because in our individual growth. 

It is important to underline the fact that everything concerning our life is nothing but the external reflection of our inner world. We don't just 'randomly attract crazy people', but we are following the intentions and actions produced by our unconscious that automatically pushes the psyche to go towards completeness. The traits we tend to dislike in others are usually the traits we do not like about ourselves.  We then tend to judge and criticize these characteristics and attract them in different ways. 

As with most of the Eastern philosophies, Astrology is connected to the powerful planetary energy that our unconscious reflects, making us become points of strong attraction to people that become the instrument to illuminate what we do not yet know about ourselves. 

Cool Giorgia, this sounds all amazing, but you are basically telling me that there is a system that I can use to understand if I will be my husband forever,right? 

No. ( I have the same problem when I am doing Akashic Records sessions in which initially the consultant just wants to know if there will be a couple  for ever and not other information like 'how can we grow together?')
Why not? Time as we know it doesn’t exist, and the only act of consulting an astrologer to ‘know’ if the person would be for ever linked to me is not the aim of astrology itself. Or to any or the other services I provide. No one will ever tell you the duration of a relationship using astrology. It is not about the result, it is about the process

The reality beyond American comedy is that every couple experiences psychological incompatibility soon undermines our certainty about a partner's rightness. But adopting an approach that supports the 'right partner' usually leads to destructive behaviors. We blame partners for our disenchantment, demand that partners change to suit us, and search outside the relationship for the real right person, who must still be out there somewhere. There is no perfect person or synastry.  And what about a twin flame or a karmic encounter? I explained here my point of view about the topic.

What can you do in order to stimulate this relationship? In which ways you can cooperate in order to understand each other dark spots? In which fields are you going to face a lot of stressful situations in which you won’t understand each other? There are questions to which we can definitely answer.

Being in a relationship is a change of personal/couple growth in which you bring your personality and the luggage of your past experiences, traumas and behaviour pattern and you put them in discussion with the help of your partner. Being with someone is a bet that we are making to ourselves: we are creating a bigger project than ourselves including someone else energy in our field. It’s not about accepting the ‘ full package that I can offer’, but put all of it in discussion and trying to re-create yourself in new ways. 

When I am working with synastries, I analyse the whole chart. There will be some ‘positive’ armonic points that will show me if these two people can talk in an chilled way, if they respect each other etc. But it is not about trying to collect as much harmonic aspects as we can. Indeed, the presence of conflicting or dynamic aspects, could help the relationship to grown on a deeper level. As we learned from Saturn, there is no real evolution without embracing challenges, pain and inner fear.  Most of the times, a more interesting synastry is connected to squares and opposition to our Natal Sun and Moon. Why? Otherwise it will be so boring after a while. Most of the times, we want to discover something new about ourselves, that’s the reason why it could be so interesting to have a relationship to a Sun squaring your Sun. I have personally been with fellow Air Signs all my life and, despite the long conversation and crazy stupid ideas we had together, I am learning a lot of new things from a different perspective sharing my time with a Taurus Sun.

It is really important to consider the aspects of one partner chart and see how it reflects in the other chart. For instance, if one of the partners as a Venus in Cancer making aspect with Neptune, the person may find through art her/his own way to express his love. In this case, a partner with a Venus in Pisces or with strong connection to Neptune would totally understand the language of the other person. Let’s bring another example: if one of the partner has Venus making aspects with Mercury, the person would feel the need to share his/her own love through messages, letters, talk. In this case a Venus in Gemini or Virgo would totally love it! Did you get my point?

Another important thing to consider is the geometrical exchange of the dynamic aspects of a chart.  There could be an asymmetrical harmony. For example, if the Sun of one partner square to the Moon of the other, but the Sun of the second in trine to the Moon of the first one it will make the energetic connection easier. And this on the one hand can give tensions in understanding and emotion, but on the other hand it could be a source of great attraction. We have to understand a basic law of attraction: we choose people whose defences fit with ours. If we protect ourselves by being quiet or withdrawn, we may choose partners who are more pursuing and aggressive. If we are insecure or clingy, we may choose partners who are aloof or less available—people we have to chase. If our defense is to try to control everything around us, we may choose a partner who is passive and eager for guidance.  

In order to understand which kind of challenges we are prone to, it is important to look at each chart separately first. If there is one chart with Venus in conjunction with Pluto, maybe the person will look for someone not easy to catch.(probably the person will not admit it to want it because Pluto works on a unconscious level). Then, the result will be a Plutonian relationship, well this is another story...

When I am doing a synastry analysis, since often the consultant is only a part of the couple, I insist a lot on the differences of the two people in question. The understanding of our differences could be a really good resolution to understand people limits and potential (here we go again with Saturn...).  It is possible to understand someone who is different from you, but it is important to bear in mind that rather changing it, it is better to interpret it.

We all have Mercury somewhere in our chart and we can use it to work on our mental skills and talk in order to be really understood from others. In a synastry we can discover basically any problems and strengths of the couple, tolerating the mutual differences and trying to see them not as parts of conflict, but as precious gifts for this energetical combination.

No match is perfect and there is no combination for the perfect relationship. So, don’t look for the ‘perfect synastry’ but try to inquire yourself about the best ways in which you can love the people around you in order to understand better how to love yourself.